Changes

 My wife reminds me from time-to-time to update this blog, which I am terrible at doing, I know. The past two months have certainly been interesting. I was looking back at my April 21st update and realizing how much has changed since then. 48 days ago when I weighed myself I was at 247.6. I had just started being treated for ADHD and I was on the right track, though my bought with sciatica was in full swing. I would like to say things are different, and I can absolutely say that. 

This morning my weigh-in was at 217.2, which is the lowest my weight has been in my adult life, and quite likely the lowest since at some point in middle school. I wear an XL shirt comfortably, now. Last week I did a four-mile run/walk, which involved 1.78 miles of running full-out before taking a break to walk any. I can run two-miles in just under 20 minutes, which given my one-mile run times in school were always 15+ minutes, I would say that is a difference. On my strength training days, I ride the stationary bike in the evening to get an extra workout in. I have been tracking all of my food intake and staying within my macros as well as keeping my hydration up. Right now the only thing that I could really improve would be my sleep. 

When I started the weight-loss surgery process, I was always asked about a target weight goal, and I never had one. Being able to buy clothes in a store like Target was a goal (which I can do easily, now), but a specific weight was never in mind. That is until I was looking at the annual health record form for Scouting. At the bottom of that form there is a height/weight chart which indicates the maximum weight for each height that a participant can do a high adventure program. At 5'8", my maximum weight is 214. 

Note that I said that at 217.2 I am at my lowest weight since at least some time in middle school. I was definitely bigger than this my first year in high school for certain, so when I was a youth in Scouts I was always too big to do high adventure. Sure, waivers exist, but I was never one to seek those out. If I didn't make the requirements it wasn't likely I would be having a good time on the adventure. So my goal for weight became 214. Now, obviously I want to shoot past that; getting steady around 200 would be fantastic. But the 214 number means that I would be able to take part in high adventure programs in Scouting America. My dream has become to complete a grand slam of high adventure bases.

I was discouraged for a while on this. I had dropped down to roughly 220, then back up to 255 over the winter. I was still in better shape than ever before in my adult life, but I was starting to think that my dreams weren't going to happen. I knew what I had to do, but something was blocking my path. I have been working with a coach for almost a year at this point but I was failing myself and him. Then I learned about the connections between food and ADHD. 

ADHD is something that affects people in different ways. I have long suspected I had it in some form, as did my wife. I don't like self-diagnosing, though, because it is something that can detract from the experiences of those truly dealing with the conditions. I also figured to myself that at 37/38, I had lived long enough coping with things that it wasn't necessary. But social media has brought a lot more information to the forefront about neurodiversity and I learned through this that ADHD can cause people to use food to satisfy the dopamine cravings our brains have. That coffee naps are a real thing and often a sign of ADHD, and given I can fall asleep while drinking coffee, that hit close to home. I learned that it was possible my coffee and Mountain Dew dependency for most of my life was potentially me attempting to self-medicate, though not knowing why. So, I sought out answers. 

I visited a clinic that specializes in behavioral assessments like this. It wasn't just the typical questionnaire which I have taken before, though that was a part of it. It involved an hour spent talking with a psychologist, followed by over two-hours of psychometric tests designed to give quantitative data for the diagnosis. The result? Combined presentation ADHD. Not a surprise at all. So now, what to do about it? Well, as the psychologist was a PsyD and now an MD, I went to my primary doctor to discuss treatment. He went with the tried and true Adderall, though the extended release version. Once I settled into the right dosage, things changed. 

I became far less impulsive with food. A good illustration is that there is often a candy bowl in my office. It would be the downfall of me when working on site because when I would walk past it, at least one piece, though often two or three, would find their way back to my office with me. Since starting these meds, not a single piece has been removed by me. I am much more deliberate in my food choices and will often pre-track my day to make sure everything is in order. This has been huge for me and is really the biggest change that I can say contributes to the 30 pounds of weight lost in the past 2.5 months.  

I still have a ways to go, but I am on the right path. There are still things to work on with regards to my ADHD as well, as the medication doesn't fix everything. But right now it is a whole new world ahead of me.