610 Days

As of this morning I am 610 days away from my gastric sleeve surgery. I also hit 213.7 pounds on my scale. 

I started writing this on 19 July, a couple of days ago, but I just didn't have the motivation to write on that day. Now it is the 21st and I am sitting on my sister's couch in Maine. I don't know what I weigh this morning, though given that yesterday was spent traveling and ended with some treats (this place called Wild Cow Creamery had a lemon ice cream with wild blueberries in it that I could not resist) but when I am doing what I can and I know when I get home I will be back on track. 

So now we are 612 days out. When I first had a conversation with the bariatric surgery team at the hospital about a goal weight, I did not have one. My goal has always been to just feel better. But then I was filling out a medical form for Scouts and saw that the maximum weight for my height to do high adventure programs was 214. Well, that became my target. I dropped down to around 220 last year, but went back up to about 255-260 over the winter. I was discouraged, but I learned my food habits could be tied to neurodivergence. I sought assessment and, lo and behold, I have combined presentation ADHD. Since being on treatment I have been able to stay on track with things so much easier and as a result I lost all that I had regained, and then some. 

We'll see what the results are when I get home from this jaunt to Maine, but I am not concerned. I know that I will get home and get right back to it. I have been continually putting in the work and the results are there. 

This is just a short update on things, but I also want to say that there is no way I am stopping here. I hope to get below 200, though hovering around that mark is just fine for me. I am in the best shape of my life and I am still a work in progress. 

Changes

 My wife reminds me from time-to-time to update this blog, which I am terrible at doing, I know. The past two months have certainly been interesting. I was looking back at my April 21st update and realizing how much has changed since then. 48 days ago when I weighed myself I was at 247.6. I had just started being treated for ADHD and I was on the right track, though my bought with sciatica was in full swing. I would like to say things are different, and I can absolutely say that. 

This morning my weigh-in was at 217.2, which is the lowest my weight has been in my adult life, and quite likely the lowest since at some point in middle school. I wear an XL shirt comfortably, now. Last week I did a four-mile run/walk, which involved 1.78 miles of running full-out before taking a break to walk any. I can run two-miles in just under 20 minutes, which given my one-mile run times in school were always 15+ minutes, I would say that is a difference. On my strength training days, I ride the stationary bike in the evening to get an extra workout in. I have been tracking all of my food intake and staying within my macros as well as keeping my hydration up. Right now the only thing that I could really improve would be my sleep. 

When I started the weight-loss surgery process, I was always asked about a target weight goal, and I never had one. Being able to buy clothes in a store like Target was a goal (which I can do easily, now), but a specific weight was never in mind. That is until I was looking at the annual health record form for Scouting. At the bottom of that form there is a height/weight chart which indicates the maximum weight for each height that a participant can do a high adventure program. At 5'8", my maximum weight is 214. 

Note that I said that at 217.2 I am at my lowest weight since at least some time in middle school. I was definitely bigger than this my first year in high school for certain, so when I was a youth in Scouts I was always too big to do high adventure. Sure, waivers exist, but I was never one to seek those out. If I didn't make the requirements it wasn't likely I would be having a good time on the adventure. So my goal for weight became 214. Now, obviously I want to shoot past that; getting steady around 200 would be fantastic. But the 214 number means that I would be able to take part in high adventure programs in Scouting America. My dream has become to complete a grand slam of high adventure bases.

I was discouraged for a while on this. I had dropped down to roughly 220, then back up to 255 over the winter. I was still in better shape than ever before in my adult life, but I was starting to think that my dreams weren't going to happen. I knew what I had to do, but something was blocking my path. I have been working with a coach for almost a year at this point but I was failing myself and him. Then I learned about the connections between food and ADHD. 

ADHD is something that affects people in different ways. I have long suspected I had it in some form, as did my wife. I don't like self-diagnosing, though, because it is something that can detract from the experiences of those truly dealing with the conditions. I also figured to myself that at 37/38, I had lived long enough coping with things that it wasn't necessary. But social media has brought a lot more information to the forefront about neurodiversity and I learned through this that ADHD can cause people to use food to satisfy the dopamine cravings our brains have. That coffee naps are a real thing and often a sign of ADHD, and given I can fall asleep while drinking coffee, that hit close to home. I learned that it was possible my coffee and Mountain Dew dependency for most of my life was potentially me attempting to self-medicate, though not knowing why. So, I sought out answers. 

I visited a clinic that specializes in behavioral assessments like this. It wasn't just the typical questionnaire which I have taken before, though that was a part of it. It involved an hour spent talking with a psychologist, followed by over two-hours of psychometric tests designed to give quantitative data for the diagnosis. The result? Combined presentation ADHD. Not a surprise at all. So now, what to do about it? Well, as the psychologist was a PsyD and now an MD, I went to my primary doctor to discuss treatment. He went with the tried and true Adderall, though the extended release version. Once I settled into the right dosage, things changed. 

I became far less impulsive with food. A good illustration is that there is often a candy bowl in my office. It would be the downfall of me when working on site because when I would walk past it, at least one piece, though often two or three, would find their way back to my office with me. Since starting these meds, not a single piece has been removed by me. I am much more deliberate in my food choices and will often pre-track my day to make sure everything is in order. This has been huge for me and is really the biggest change that I can say contributes to the 30 pounds of weight lost in the past 2.5 months.  

I still have a ways to go, but I am on the right path. There are still things to work on with regards to my ADHD as well, as the medication doesn't fix everything. But right now it is a whole new world ahead of me. 

An interesting week

 This past week was certainly one full of ups and downs; well, two weeks because I missed a Sunday Update. 

Last Saturday, I was at an event called Spring Fling that is held each year by the Harrisonburg City Public Schools to help recruit Cub Scouts for a pack we are getting off the ground. I had about 70 interested kids, which is a phenomenal result from the three hour time commitment. We had a great time out there and it was a great motivation boost. 

So the week started on a high note, and in all honesty started off pretty well. My ADHD meds are working and I can find myself focusing better. It made class a little better this week, for sure. It has also allowed me to focus on my nutrition so much better. I have been holding to my macros for a couple of full weeks now, which has never happened before. I am still procrastinating on projects like crazy (such as right this moment), but it is definitely better than it ever was. Plus, the lack of caffeine intake hasn't been a problem. 

The sciatica is still a thing, but I will keep rehabbing it and maybe see what can be done medically in a week or so. I tried to get back to the gym on Friday, but the pain came back so I will be modifying my workouts accordingly. Though I will say that I have been able to run again, and in fact have done better at running than ever before. 

There were some issues I had to deal with that were less than pleasant, which can happen from time to time. But, I also made it to the first round of interviews for a job opportunity that I like the looks of. I often tell people that I got into accounting because of the job security. It was the Great Recession and if you know anything about the workforce you know that accountants often have a fairly easy time finding employment. Well, it worked out for me, but now I think it is time I move on to something else. 

The week ended yesterday, though, and it ended in the best way possible. Teaching Cub Scouts to fish. 

There is just something about working with Cub Scouts out at our camp that makes you forget all the other stuff. It is a great reminder of the reason we all do what we do as Scouters. Anyway, enough procrastination, off to work on finals. 

Scouting's Changes

A ton has changed in Scouting over the years, you can't hide that. There is an old adage that the only constant is change. I am a progressive-minded individual, which may surprise some people. This isn't to say that I align politically with those that call themselves progressive in today's climate, but more that I am not someone who is concerned with maintaining the status quo. Think progressive in the way Theodore Roosevelt was progressive. Because the only constant is change I believe we must be at the vanguard of that change to survive. We teach in Wood Badge that we must embrace and lead change, so why don't we take that mentality in the overall organization? At the same time, change for the sake of change is never the best approach. There must be a good reason to make the change and to change the specific thing. 

One thing that has remained for Scouting is the mission: To prepare young people to make ethical and moral choices over their lifetimes by instilling in them the values of the Scout Oath and Law. Now, this may not have always been the mission; I don't know the history of it to really say that it has remained unchanged from 1910 to now, but it has always been true that instilling these values is the real purpose of Scouting, not just tying knots and building fires. The way I see it is that the changes the BSA has undergone in the past decade or so have been with an eye towards that mission. We have been making changes that embrace those values and open up these opportunities to more youth in America. So why the resistance? 

Change is a difficult thing. There are a lot of organizations out there that are conservative in nature. Again, not politically, but just that they don't try to keep up with modern society. We have been seeing it for decades as the membership in civic and social organizations has been steadily declining and the average age of their membership has increased. These organizations have a value in modern society, but they haven't adjusted to meet the times. Scouting is at least trying. 

Sometimes those changes aren't the best decisions. I think about the ill-advised new uniform shirt just released in the Scout Shop. At the same time, some of them are thoroughly thought out and well planned, like the newly released Cub Scout program that starts on June 1st. That will make things so much simpler for our smaller packs and lower the barrier to entry for the parents to get involved in volunteer roles. 

Whatever may come, I hope to be a part of the changes occurring. I hope to help modernize Scouting by leading the change in my council. I hope to help modernize both Freemasonry and the SAR by drawing in younger members with things they want to see. At the same time, we hold onto our core values and mission. 

Anyway, this was mostly just a stream of consciousness for the morning. I figured it would work well for some Tuesday Thoughts. 

First Masonic Monday

So, I am a part of several fraternal organizations. One of them is Freemasonry. Specifically, I am in a subordinate lodge of The Most Worshipful Grand Lodge, Ancient Free and Accepted Masons of the Commonwealth of Virginia. I was Raised in January of 2023, so I am a relatively new Mason but I have thoroughly enjoyed my experience so far. 

I figured I would share some things about Freemasonry on this blog to demystify some things and also talk about some of the reasons I am involved in the organization. I actually have a post from when I was Raised from earlier in this blog where I touched on this a little bit. Since then, a lot has happened for me both in Scouting and in Freemasonry. 

One thing of note is how much the National Jamboree really made me want to work to improve these ties between our organizations. Both Freemasonry and Scouting have seen declines in recent years tied to an overall decline in civic and fraternal organization memberships. With so many shared values and history between the two, I have been working to strengthen those ties. In Virginia, at least, every meeting should involved some sort of program. This can be Masonic education, something from an outside organization, or really anything the Worshipful Master would like. So, with that in mind, I created a program around the connections of Freemasonry and Scouting and offer it to other lodges. I go, in uniform, and present this to them.

I also created a trifold brochure directed as Masonic Brothers outlining the connections and encouraging participation and/or support of Scouting. This brochure is being used by the National Association of Masonic Scouters, now, as a way to spread awareness. 

The last thing I did recently was wrote something called a "Short Talk Bulletin." This is something put out by a group called the Masonic Service Association and is used all over the country by lodges to supplement their programs. I wrote an article and also recorded a podcast where I read the information. This is all hosted on the NAMS website as well. 

Both of the organizations mean a lot to me and trying to bring them closer together is something I think will be an important thing for me for a long time to come.

Getting Older Is No Fun

 I haven't been to the gym in a few days. Not by choice, mind you, but because on Thursday my sciatic nerve decided to let me know it was there. I was going for a run in the JMU Arboretum around lunch time when I started to get a pain in my lower back and the backs of my thighs while I was running up a hill. I had to walk a little bit, then tried running again once the pain subsided some and it just came right back. So, I ended my run at this point and walked out the rest of my time. 

Me dying in the Arboretum as I walk for a bit,
though my face doesn't quite display the pain. 

Unfortunately, I did not do all of the things at that moment that would have probably been best for me, but I did try to take it easy the rest of the day after a hot shower. That night the pain became so bad that it woke me up at 2 am. Well, that morning was supposed to start off in the gym with some trap bar deadlifts. That isn't happening when you are dealing with lower back and thigh pain. So, I alerted my coach and said "hey, I'm taking it easy, walking and yoga for now and will continue to monitor."

So I went for a walk around my area for a little over two miles. I felt decent while walking, but when I had to jog across a street the pain just shot up my legs into my back. When I got home I did some digging and discovered what I had suspected, that it was most likely sciatica. So, I told my coach, we agreed to make the coming week a recovery/yoga week, and reassess as we go on. So, here I am, sitting in the living room when I am usually lifting heavy things and putting them down. I don't do idle well, but that I am now being treated for my ADHD (another story I will get into later) I am doing much better than I would have. 

Moving forward, I am going to try to make Sunday an update day for this blog where I talk about how my fitness journey is going. I use a Garmin watch and the Connect app they have (I am a proud League of Garmin member!) so I have all sorts of fun data. But let's look at weight for right now. 

Those are my daily weigh-ins for this week. Now, you can see that I relapsed a bit during this past year when you look at this graph. 

This is one of those times when I would tell anyone who thinks having weight loss surgery is the "easy way out" or the "lay way" that they are very much misinformed. This is a process and WLS is a tool, nothing more. It certainly helps that I can only eat a fraction of what I once could. The idea of going to a Chinese buffet and housing three plates while drinking three or four glasses of water is non-existent today. I ate 3 oz. of chicken, a half-cup of broccoli, and 3.8 oz of rice (half of a Bibigo rice bowl) and I was uncomfortably full for a good 45 minutes afterwards. I track everything I eat (most of the time) and I am putting in the work in the gym and on the track (or the trails, or streets) as well. It is a never-ending process.

Anyway, the weight gain is because the "bers" got me good, and it's because I was cocky about it. I came into it thinking "nah, I am fine during the fall, I love this season, it won't get me" even though my coach was warning the whole group about it. I was wrong, and now I have to make up for that. I need to get back to where I was and I am taking the steps I need to, figuratively and literally. 

April Fools!

 Yeah, I was fooling myself before that I would be more regular about posting. After my wife reminded me of the blog the other day, in between giving me a hard time about things that I absolutely deserved a hard time for, I decided to finally make a post. 

Things have been a little up and down, specifically my weight, but I am working to get back on track. My biggest problem is my impulsive behaviors which, another bit of news, likely stem from my ADHD which I have been officially diagnosed with. So, hopefully I will be getting some tools to help with that as well. 

The countdown is also on to a 5k fundraiser this fall for my council and I have been challenged to run it. I have spent 38 years with the mentality that running is for escaping danger, nothing else. So now running has become a part of my training regimen. 

Anyway, those are some brief updates for now. Hopefully I will remember to post some more updates, soon. Lots has been going on that I need to share, but for right now I am just going to post this brief update.